20 Sales Jokes to Lower Sales Stress

sales jokesThe health benefits of laughter are documented and numerous. And since new research from the American Heart Association tells us that 68 percent of sales employees have poor eating habits and 69 percent do not have ideal cholesterol levels, you and your sales team can use as many healthy benefits as you can get.

So here are 20 cheesy, punny and downright ridiculous sales jokes to lighten up the mood in your office and get your sales reps smiling before they pick up those phones.

20 Sales Jokes to Keep You Sane


  1. Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word. [Source]
  2. The salesman claimed the shoes were made from alligator, but I knew it was a crock. [Source]
  3. The telemarketer asked me if I read magazines at all and I replied that I did, periodically. [Source]
  4. The bargain store promised a free abacus with every purchase, but I wouldn’t count on it. [Source]
  5. I was fired from my job selling amplifiers. I didn’t achieve the sufficient volume of sales. [Source]
  6. A guy who used to sell boomerangs is trying for a comeback. [Source]
  7. I am almost done making a joke about unemployed salespeople, but it still needs some work. [Source]
  8. I used to sell Velcro, but I could not stick with it. [Source]
  9. Salesman: “This computer will cut your workload by 50 percent.” Office manager: “That’s great! I’ll take two of them.” [Source]
  10. The more cordial the buyer’s secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order. [Source]
  11. “We are going to have a sales contest this month. The winners will get to enter next month’s contest.” [Source]
  12. What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day? Rugs and kisses! [Source]
  13. What do you have to know to be a real estate salesman? Lots. [Source]
  14. What salesman has the slickest line? A hair grease salesman. [Source]

You might be a salesperson if … [Source]

  1. You refer to dating as test marketing.
  2. When you bought a new house, you called your fellow alumni and offered to name a room after them, if they’ll help with the down payment.
  3. Your favorite stories begin with, “Bob Jones, VP of marketing, sat at his desk and stared out his window…”
  4. When you give your son his birthday present, you must say that it has an “unprecedented performance.”
  5. When you describe a product as “maintenance-free,” you mean that it is impossible to fix it.
  6. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.

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